We spend most of our time being “on.” We’re polished, we’re professional, and we’re navigating a sea of “Not interested” and “I’m too busy.” But behind the sales pitch, there are a few truths we’d love to drop—not to be snarky, but because we actually want to help your business thrive.
This Friday, we’re counting down the top 10 things every ISO and agent wishes they could tell their prospects and clients.
From the Home office in Boring, Oregon, Here are the
Top 10 Things We Wish We Could Say to Our Merchants but don’t
10. “If you don’t look at your statement, you’re literally giving money away.”
We’re not just being nosy when we ask for your statement. We know your current provider probably charging a “Regulatory NON Compliance Fee” or a “PCI Non-Validation Fee” or a “hardware rental fee”. Let me help you find the leaks!
9. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me your actual goals.”
Are you trying to lower costs, or is your current hardware just driving you crazy? If you tell us the real pain point, we can stop pitching “low rates” and start pitching actual solutions.
8. “That ‘1.5%’ offer you got in the mail is a trap.”
We wish we could tell you that the “1.5%” or “No Fee” mailer you just got is filled with more catches than a professional baseball game. There is always a cost—let’s talk about the one that won’t bite you later.
7. “Your 10-year-old dial up terminal is the reason your checkout line is slow.”
We know you don’t want to spend money on new hardware, but that dial-up era credit card machine is costing you more in customer frustration and “No Signal” errors than a new terminal ever would.
6. “I’m a local human, not a 1-800 number.”
When you sign with a giant bank, you get a call center. When you sign with me, you get my cell phone number. That’s worth more than a 0.05% difference in your transaction fee.
5. “PCI Compliance isn’t a scam, but the way you’re being charged for it might be.”
Yes, you have to do the questionnaire. No, you shouldn’t be paying $49.99 a month for it. Let’s sit down for 15 minutes, finish the survey, and stop the bleeding.
4. “Cheaper isn’t always better; reliable is always better.”
You can find the lowest rate in the world, but if the system crashes every other day and nobody answers the support line, that “saving” just cost you your entire Q4 profit.
3. “I know you’ve been burned by a sales rep before, but I’m not that guy.”
We know the reputation this industry has. We know the guy before us promised you the moon and disappeared when the first statement arrived. Give us a chance to prove that there are good eggs in this business.
2. “Stop letting your bank handle your processing just because it’s ‘easy’.”
Convenience is expensive. Your bank is great for loans and checking accounts, but they usually treat merchant services as an afterthought—with the high fees to prove it.
And the # 1 Top 10 Things We Wish We Could Say to Our Merchants but don’t is ….
1. “I genuinely want your business to grow, because if you don’t make money, I don’t make money.”
This is the ultimate truth of our industry. Our partnership is one of the few where our incentives are perfectly aligned. When your volume goes up, we both win. Let’s grow together.
Happy Friday to the merchants and the reps! Here’s to transparent pricing, fast funding, and partners who actually pick up the phone.
Have a great weekend,
David
