This Sunday is Father’s Day, and each year I always think about comedian Ali Siddiq’s hilarious bit on Father’s Day. Ali says Father’s Day is the most “un-choreographed” holiday in existence. While Mom gets a fully planned itinerary, Dad gets a generic card with a picture of a sailboat or a golf club on it (even if he doesn’t sail or golf), a plate of whatever food is left over, and exactly one hour and forty-five minutes of quiet time before someone walks in to ruin it.
If you haven’t seen the hilarious clip yet, you can watch the Ali Siddiq Father’s Day Short on YouTube.
It’s funny because it’s a hundred percent true. Dads get the bare minimum.
But in Merchant Services, we can’t afford to give bare-minimum effort, and we certainly shouldn’t let our merchants get treated like a bad Father’s Day card.
Here is this week’s Friday Top 10 inspired by Ali Siddiq’s routine on why Father’s Day is a struggle and how to apply it to crushing your sales goals.
10. Ditch the “Golf Card” Pitch
Ali talks about how people buy Dads cards with golf clubs on them just because they don’t know what else to get. Stop using generic, cookie-cutter sales pitches with your prospects. If you walk into an auto repair shop pitching retail clothing features, you look like a kid handing a non-golfing dad a tee-time card. Customize your pitch to the exact merchant standing in front of you.
9. Don’t Settle for “Leftover” Leads
On Father’s Day, Dad get BBQ or steak, maybe. In sales, if you are only working the old, beat-up, recycled leads at the bottom of the CRM, you’re eating leftovers. Spend your Friday hunting for fresh, self-generated cold drops. Go get the prime rib.
8. The “1 Hour and 45 Minutes” Focus Block
Ali notes that Dad gets less than two hours of peace before the chaos restarts. Treat your dial sessions like Dad’s peace and quiet: sacred and uninterrupted. Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb,” close your tabs, and give yourself 1 hour and 45 minutes of pure, unadulterated prospecting. You’ll be amazed at how many gates you can keep or doors you can open in that window.
7. Recognize the Underappreciated Merchant
Just like Dads on Father’s Day, local business owners often feel completely unappreciated. They pour their lives into their business and their current processor treats them like a number. Walk in there, acknowledge their hard work, and show them some actual appreciation by offering local, face-to-face service and a THANK YOU card & a gift card for being with you.
6. Upgrade Their “Leftover” Technology
A lot of merchants are running their entire business on “leftover” technology—antiquated terminals that take 30 seconds to dial out (there are some still out there) or clunky POS systems that crash during peak hours. Use the holiday cleanup rush to show them how a sleek terminal upgrade can speed up their operations.
5. Cut Out the “Un-Choreographed” Chaos
Ali points out that Mother’s Day has a strict schedule, but Father’s Day is complete chaos. If your sales week is completely un-choreographed, you’re losing money. Use your Friday afternoon to map out your entire route for next Monday and Tuesday. Don’t wing it.
4. The “Thanks for Everything” Closing Technique
Dad’s card usually just says “Thanks for everything you do.” It’s simple and vague. When you are closing a deal, don’t overcomplicate the final paperwork with technical jargon. Keep the value proposition simple: “We’re going to save you money, eliminate your fees, and back you up with 24/7 service. Let’s get this set up so you can get back to business.”
2. Don’t Let Merchants Give Away “Twenty Bucks”
Ali jokes that kids only check on Dad to ask for money. Too many merchants are essentially handing twenty bucks (and a lot more) to their current processor every day in unnecessary sweep fees and hidden costs. Bring them a dual-pricing solution that keeps that money in their pocket.
3. Target the Unsung Hero Businesses
While high-end boutiques and flower shops crushed it in May, the gritty, “dad-centric” businesses—like hardware stores, bait-and-tackle shops, and dive bars—just wrapped up their busiest weekend. They are sitting on fresh processing statements from the weekend rush. Strike while the iron is hot and do a statement analysis today.
And the #1 Ali Siddiq “Father’s Day” Survival Guide tip is …
1. Give 100% Effort When Everyone Else Slacks
Father’s Day might get a low-effort response from the family, but a top-tier sales professional never brings low effort to the table. While other reps are mentally checking out early for the weekend, stay on the pavement. The hustle doesn’t take a break just because the holiday did.
Don’t let your sales week end like a bad Father’s Day routine. Stay focused, stay organized, and go give your merchants the first-class service they actually deserve!
Have a great weekend and Happy Father’s day,
David
