Santa Claus: The Best Salesman Ever!

I know that Wednesdays have been reserved for our “What Would You Do” scenarios, and we will be getting back to those in January. But today I’d like to assert that Santa Claus is the greatest salesman who ever lived, and I want to look at his operation through the lens of a merchant services sales processional.

To start, Santa’s North Pole operation boasts two metrics we’d all kill for:

1. Hundreds of Years of Stable Operation: He’s successfully run the same family business since forever. That kind of long-term stability and business continuity is unmatched, especially in a rapidly changing payments landscape.
2. Ever-Expanding Client Base: His customer count grows every year, completely immune to the global economy, recessions, or shifts in consumer spending.

Can our portfolios make those two claims?

But here’s the kicker: I believe Santa is the greatest salesman not because of his business model, but in spite of its glaring inefficiencies. In our world of high-tech payment solutions, Santa’s operation has some major red flags:

Santa’s Inefficient Model

• Technology & POS System: He doesn’t even have a Point-of-Sale (POS) system! He relies on handwritten paper orders (letters!) and a painful manual fulfillment process. Imagine the interchange fees if he accepted cards… oh wait, he doesn’t! No modern business can survive without leveraging seamless, integrated payment processing.
• Delivery System & Logistics: His “One Day Delivery” is literally that—one day a year. In the payment world, merchants demand real-time deposits, 24/7 funding, and instant settlement. A sleigh and reindeer? That’s the equivalent of a dial-up terminal when everyone else has wireless, NFC, and mobile processing. His solution is slow, antiquated, and lacks redundancy.
• Manufacturing & Automation: “Elves” are a deeply labor-intensive, high-cost solution. In merchant services, this means manual underwriting, paper applications, and lengthy onboarding. We know that automation and streamlined digital processes are the only way to compete with high-volume giants.
• Profit Margin & Overhead: He may give the product away, but his operating costs (elves’ housing, healthcare, workers’ comp!) are massive.

So, how does Santa pull it off? Why is he so successful in spite of his terrible technology and inefficient operations?

6 Ways Santa Delivers World-Class Merchant Service

In business, if you continuously attract new clients and retain your current ones, you’re doing something right. Here are the core strategies he nails:

1. He Loves His Job (Culture Matters): Could you manage high-stress clients, troubleshoot terminal issues, and deal with chargebacks day after day and remain jolly? “Ho, Ho, Ho” is his corporate culture. When we are genuinely upbeat and passionate, it translates into trust and retention.
2. He Genuinely Cares for His Customers (Relationship Selling): His sole goal is to meet everyone’s needs, and all he seeks is joy in return. Do you get joy from solving a merchant’s cash flow problem or saving them thousands on processing fees?
3. He Gets Personal (Be Visible): He doesn’t expect clients to come to him. During his absolute busiest time (the holiday rush!), he’s visible everywhere, talking to his customers. How often do you initiate contact with your clients, even when it’s just to check in, not just when a rate review or equipment upgrade is needed?
4. He Creates an Experience (Value Proposition): A toy is just a toy, but when it’s from Santa, it’s magical. It creates anticipation. We aren’t just selling a credit card processing; we’re selling peace of mind, reduced headaches, and optimized cash flow. Do you make the experience of switching processors feel like an upgrade?
5. He Adds Value (Beyond the Rate): People often think “free” means “cheap.” Yet, we value Santa’s gifts because they come from him. Our value isn’t just a free terminal ; it’s our reliable service, our next-day funding, our expertise in compliance. Do your customers see you adding value beyond the monthly statement?
6. He Delivers on His Promise (Reliability is Everything): Santa does what he says. Always on time, no excuses, no extra charge. This is crucial in merchant services. Can your customer rely on you to deliver consistent uptime, accurate reporting, and the support you promised?

The most important takeaway? Everything Santa does is 100% within our power to do with our merchants.

We don’t need magic reindeer or elves. We just need to bring passion, value, and reliability to every merchant interaction. And, thankfully, we don’t have to wear a silly red uniform… unless we want to.

Happy Selling,

David