We all reach points in our lives where we feel the pull to expand, to connect, to find our tribe. Whether it’s for professional growth, personal development, or simply a sense of belonging, the desire to join a group or network is a natural human instinct. I remember a few years back, feeling that very urge to spread my wings and connect with other professionals in my area.
I stumbled upon a local group that seemed promising. It was structured similarly to a BNI, emphasizing exclusivity by allowing only one representative per industry. This aspect, I thought, could be incredibly beneficial for focused networking. Eager to participate, I signed up online for a meeting.
Shortly after, I received a call from one of the group’s organizers. During our conversation, he mentioned a less-than-pleasant history with a close friend of mine – someone I deeply valued and whose side of the story I knew. I addressed this head-on, assuring him that this past issue wouldn’t affect my desire to be part of the group, as my intention was solely to connect and collaborate within the professional sphere.
Interestingly, this gentleman also operated within the payments industry, my own field. However, he had transitioned into real estate. When I inquired about other payment professionals in the group, he informed me that there was one member, primarily focused on security cameras, with payments being a secondary aspect of their business. He assured me there wouldn’t be a conflict.
I attended several weekly meetings, even bringing a guest who I thought could be a valuable addition. I was actively engaging, building connections, and feeling like I was finding my footing in this new circle. Then, after about four weeks, I decided it was time to formally join.
That’s when the rug was pulled out from under me. This gentleman who had previously said there would be no conflict informed me that I couldn’t join under the “Payments” category because the security camera company already held that slot. Instead, he suggested I join under “Point of Sale (POS) Systems.”
Now, to some, this might seem like a minor distinction. But for me, it felt disingenuous. While POS systems are a part of what I do, my expertise and primary focus have always been broader, encompassing terminals and e-commerce payments. It felt like being asked to fit into a box that didn’t truly represent my work.
To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I voiced my frustration, explaining that, in my professional reality, payments and POS are intrinsically linked. Needless to say, I didn’t join the group.
Looking back, I seldom cross paths with those individuals. My business has continued its upward trajectory, and I have no doubt theirs has as well. But the experience served as a potent reminder: not every circle is meant for you.
There’s a subtle but significant lesson in this story. Even before this experience, my close friend had indirectly cautioned me about this particular individual. Perhaps I dismissed it, eager to forge my own path and make my own judgments. But sometimes, those whispers of caution, those gut feelings, are worth heeding.
Trying to force yourself into a group that doesn’t quite align, where you feel misunderstood or misrepresented, can be draining and ultimately unproductive. It can lead to frustration and a feeling of being undervalued.
The beauty of life lies in finding your authentic connections, the people and groups who truly see you, understand your value, and support your growth without trying to mold you into something you’re not. These are the circles where you can thrive, where your contributions are genuinely appreciated, and where you feel a true sense of belonging.
Don’t be afraid to step away from circles that don’t feel right, even if they seem promising on the surface. Trust your instincts and prioritize finding those who resonate with your values, understand your vision, and celebrate your successes.
Surround yourself with a circle that has your back. These are the people who lift you higher, who champion your endeavors, and who stand by you through thick and thin. These are the connections that truly matter, the ones that fuel your journey and make the challenges worthwhile. Choose your orbit wisely, and watch yourself shine.
Happy Selling,
David
Payment Lynx Daily 