Did you make any New Year’s resolutions this year? Lose weight? Learn a new skill? Well, us merchant service salespeople have their own unique set of goals for the year. From finally understanding interchange to ditching the cheesy closing lines, we’re counting down the top 10 hilarious resolutions that will have you nodding your head and saying “so true!”
From the home office in New Year’s Island, Australia Here are the Top 10 “Funny-ish” New Year’s Resolutions for Merchant Services Salespeople
10. “I will finally decipher the hieroglyphics of interchange and explain it to a five-year-old.” (Because let’s face it, it’s that confusing.)
9. “I will stop promising ‘the lowest rates’ and actually listen to my prospects’ needs for once.” (Revolutionary, I know.)
8. “I will resist the urge to do a victory dance every time someone answers the phone.” (It’s a small win, but let’s keep it professional.)
7. “I will revamp my LinkedIn profile to resemble a successful consultant, not a wannabe influencer.” (Goodbye, filtered selfies with rented sports cars.)
6. “I will retire the phrase ‘cutting-edge technology’ unless I’m actually selling something invented this century.” (No more glorifying ancient credit card terminals.)
5. “I will remember my clients’ birthdays, their dog’s name, and their favorite sports team.” (Or at least pretend to, with the help of detailed notes.)
4. “I will ditch the cheesy closing lines and actually ask my prospects what their concerns are.” (Groundbreaking sales tactic, right?)
3. “I will stop blaming my CRM and learn how to use it effectively.” (It’s not the CRM’s fault I haven’t entered any contacts in six months.)
2. “I will upgrade the office coffee to something that doesn’t taste like burnt tires.” (Happy employees, happy clients?)
And the #1 New Year’s Resolutions for Merchant Services Salespeople is …
1. “I will accept that ‘no’ is a complete sentence and move on gracefully.” (There are plenty of other fish in the sea… of merchants.)
These resolutions, though humorous, highlight the importance of continuous improvement, both personally and professionally. As we navigate the challenges and triumphs of our industry, let’s strive to be more transparent, knowledgeable, and customer-focused. Here’s to a year of growth, laughter, and success!
Have a great weekend,
David
Payment Lynx Daily 